Being someone who is still dating her first boyfriend, and has been for almost 4 years, oh and he's in the Navy....I get A LOT of relationship related questions. like, "How do you do it?" or "Why would you do that to yourself?" and of course, "Are y'all going to get married?"
But, probably the question I get most often is, "How do you know you're in love?"
Truth is, I don't. Truth is, no body every really knows if they are "in love." The feeling is just too close of a feeling to others like, lust and infatuation.Many people have tried to describe how love feels. Some say it's like butterflies in your stomach, some say it's like being up in the clouds, and still others say it's like fireworks. Many people have tried to explain what love is. Some say love is holding on with all your might, some say love is letting go.
With as many descriptions as we have today, not to mention all the songs, their is no way to know for sure whether or not you are in love...But as you would expect of me, I have thought very long and hard on, how I know I am in love.
He's what I've come up with.
You are in love if during your partner's lowest you don't think of them any less and during their highest you don't think of them any more. Meaning, the feeling you feel for them is the same in their time of giving and their time of receiving. You may like them more or less depending, but if the same root feeling (which I would argue is love) stays the same throughout, I believe you are in love.
Here's another thought.
No body is perfect. No body. But, if you see another's flaws as part of why you "love" them, I think they are perfect for you. I do believe there is a "perfect" person out there for everyone. But, don't be mistaken, if you think someone is perfect for you and they don't think you are perfect for each other, then you are not meant to be, sorry. It is only when there is a mutual vision of perfection that two people are indeed meant for each other.
Side note:
Don't let yourself think you know better than God. He knows who you need to be with, he created both of you after all....if it doesn't workout then you just have to know you are 1 person closer to finding the one God has custom made for you.
Bottom line:
Love is something you have to evaluate for yourself. Nobody knows better than you if you are in love. Good luck.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Uh Uh, Not Cool : Yep It's Religious
You know what really grinds my gears?
When people try and shove their religion and ideas on it, down your throat.
I understand the whole "let’s go out and spread God's word," and all but I really feel some of these "missionaries" are going about it the wrong way.
It is my opinion that in order to "spread God's word" you shouldn't try and just start telling them why they should be Christian or whatever other religion. If your faith is based on doing unto others as you would have them do unto you...follow that. I guarantee you that it would offend you/ be considered harassment if a Buddhists or Hindu or some other major world religion missionary came up to you and basically told you that you were wrong and that you were going to die and be miserable if you didn't join their religion. This is like saying, your club sucks and if you don't join ours you are going to suffer. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY this is a straight up threat!
How bout instead of words, you use actions. Let those who want to "have what you have" see what you have first. Then whip out the Bible or Koran or whatever. Use missionary works, not missionary words. Words are limited anyways.
Plus, you don't really know if you're right. After all YOU are only human. YOU are not God. To "know" what God meant by the Bible is saying you know as much as God.
Only God knows for sure any and all the answers and wonders of the world. Humans should not try and explain to other humans the mysteries they have not yet solved themselves. The mystery of God or whoever is not solved till you die and you are met face-to-face with His light or Nirvana or what/wherever you think you're going….Because that's just it. You but only THINK you are going there. You cannot truly know for sure something until it happens. You can have faith, but all the faith in the world cannot make something be something it’s not.
So please, if you must mission to others, let them see His glory through your good works and kindness, not through force feeding your ideas to them. After all, your ideas are human ideas, only God knows what his ideas are.
When people try and shove their religion and ideas on it, down your throat.
I understand the whole "let’s go out and spread God's word," and all but I really feel some of these "missionaries" are going about it the wrong way.
It is my opinion that in order to "spread God's word" you shouldn't try and just start telling them why they should be Christian or whatever other religion. If your faith is based on doing unto others as you would have them do unto you...follow that. I guarantee you that it would offend you/ be considered harassment if a Buddhists or Hindu or some other major world religion missionary came up to you and basically told you that you were wrong and that you were going to die and be miserable if you didn't join their religion. This is like saying, your club sucks and if you don't join ours you are going to suffer. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY this is a straight up threat!
How bout instead of words, you use actions. Let those who want to "have what you have" see what you have first. Then whip out the Bible or Koran or whatever. Use missionary works, not missionary words. Words are limited anyways.
Plus, you don't really know if you're right. After all YOU are only human. YOU are not God. To "know" what God meant by the Bible is saying you know as much as God.
Only God knows for sure any and all the answers and wonders of the world. Humans should not try and explain to other humans the mysteries they have not yet solved themselves. The mystery of God or whoever is not solved till you die and you are met face-to-face with His light or Nirvana or what/wherever you think you're going….Because that's just it. You but only THINK you are going there. You cannot truly know for sure something until it happens. You can have faith, but all the faith in the world cannot make something be something it’s not.
So please, if you must mission to others, let them see His glory through your good works and kindness, not through force feeding your ideas to them. After all, your ideas are human ideas, only God knows what his ideas are.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Fat Kid Moments
I may only be 21 year young, but I'm also 21 years old.
I may not be an expert on life, but hey you'd have to live a whole life to be able to say that and hopefully 21 years isn't all I get.
We are all told not to do things as kids. Ones I got a lot were, "Don't play with your food," "No singing at the table," "No running in church," "Quit distracting others," "No talking in class,"...
Well once you've got those down you get older and turns out you have more to learn...like, "Don't judge others," "Chocolate is bad for you," "Sugary drink will make you fat," "Money doesn't grow on trees,"....
Now, these are good things to remember and keep in mind.
With 21 years of experience under my belt I can tell you that we all have bad days. We all need a pick-me-up now and again. So I'm here to tell you a few things I've learned.
1. Sometimes I catch myself looking at other people's lives and thanking God that I don't have their life. I was comparing my life to someone I knew in High School the other day and they have never had a real boyfriend, their friends aren't as awesome as mine, and her family is crazier than mine (yes that's achievable). Yes, this is judging saying that "I'm glad my life isn't like hers,"...but, it also made me so very thankful for the life I have. I am very thankful to have the boyfriend I do in my life, to have the great friends/sorority sisters in my life and the Brady bunch family I have in my life. So in short, judging can put things in perspective and make you thankful for the things and people you have. Just be careful, because one man's trash is another man's treasure.
2. Sometimes when you have had a bad day and things don't go the way they should. Or you feel mistreated or neglected...it is ok to go to the store and buy your favorite chocolate or ice cream and your favorite coke and eat and drink the whole thing in one sitting. Sometimes that's just what you need to do. And it's what makes you feel better. Trust me we've all been there...it's ok to have emotional fat kid moments every once and a while. Plus chocolate has antioxidants in it that make you feel good because they are good for you.
3. Retail therapy is ok. I don't know what it is about buying a new pair of shoes or a new dress that heals wounds, but it does. If you have the money, why not make yourself feel better by treating yourself to a shopping day? Supposedly too when women shop it releases dopamine....
So go ahead, throw everything that's ever been told to you about money, judging and sweets out the window now and again and give into those inner fat kid moments.
I may not be an expert on life, but hey you'd have to live a whole life to be able to say that and hopefully 21 years isn't all I get.
We are all told not to do things as kids. Ones I got a lot were, "Don't play with your food," "No singing at the table," "No running in church," "Quit distracting others," "No talking in class,"...
Well once you've got those down you get older and turns out you have more to learn...like, "Don't judge others," "Chocolate is bad for you," "Sugary drink will make you fat," "Money doesn't grow on trees,"....
Now, these are good things to remember and keep in mind.
With 21 years of experience under my belt I can tell you that we all have bad days. We all need a pick-me-up now and again. So I'm here to tell you a few things I've learned.
1. Sometimes I catch myself looking at other people's lives and thanking God that I don't have their life. I was comparing my life to someone I knew in High School the other day and they have never had a real boyfriend, their friends aren't as awesome as mine, and her family is crazier than mine (yes that's achievable). Yes, this is judging saying that "I'm glad my life isn't like hers,"...but, it also made me so very thankful for the life I have. I am very thankful to have the boyfriend I do in my life, to have the great friends/sorority sisters in my life and the Brady bunch family I have in my life. So in short, judging can put things in perspective and make you thankful for the things and people you have. Just be careful, because one man's trash is another man's treasure.
2. Sometimes when you have had a bad day and things don't go the way they should. Or you feel mistreated or neglected...it is ok to go to the store and buy your favorite chocolate or ice cream and your favorite coke and eat and drink the whole thing in one sitting. Sometimes that's just what you need to do. And it's what makes you feel better. Trust me we've all been there...it's ok to have emotional fat kid moments every once and a while. Plus chocolate has antioxidants in it that make you feel good because they are good for you.
3. Retail therapy is ok. I don't know what it is about buying a new pair of shoes or a new dress that heals wounds, but it does. If you have the money, why not make yourself feel better by treating yourself to a shopping day? Supposedly too when women shop it releases dopamine....
So go ahead, throw everything that's ever been told to you about money, judging and sweets out the window now and again and give into those inner fat kid moments.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Oh Yeah? Watch Me.
How old do you have to be till people stop telling you that you are "too young" for stuff?
How old?
Supposedly I am too young for a lot of things...to think about getting married, to worry about employment after graduation, etc. etc...
Really...
I hate when people tell me I can't achieve or do something because of one thing or the other.
How discouraging do you want to be?
The only things that I am not legally old enough to do is drink/purchase/be in possession of alcohol(which will change for me in a week) and renting things like vacation homes and cars.
I've been able to legally work full time for 5 years and been able to get married without parental consent for 2 almost 3....so no I am not "too young."
Looking at maturity is I guess something to do....
Well, for the record I forget I'm not actually 28 years old. I don't have the limit of knowledge and experience in life of an almost 21 year old.
I've lived a lot of life. But I guess you didn't know that.
What ever happen to not judging a book by it's cover?
Sure I look about 15 with out makeup, but I have a wise soul.
I think I felt 21 in the 10th grade. Not because of alcohol or anything, but because of what I had to grow up and deal with.
Life happens to people at different rates and lessons are learned(or not) by people at different rates too.
So maybe, you were too young to get married or worry about employment after graduation at almost 21, but you have no place telling me I am.
YOU DON"T KNOW ME FOOL! (had to throw in a little humor)
Think twice before you tell someone they can't do something for one reason or another. Because if they are anything like me, they will say "oh, yeah?" and try twice as hard to prove you wrong.
How old?
Supposedly I am too young for a lot of things...to think about getting married, to worry about employment after graduation, etc. etc...
Really...
I hate when people tell me I can't achieve or do something because of one thing or the other.
How discouraging do you want to be?
The only things that I am not legally old enough to do is drink/purchase/be in possession of alcohol(which will change for me in a week) and renting things like vacation homes and cars.
I've been able to legally work full time for 5 years and been able to get married without parental consent for 2 almost 3....so no I am not "too young."
Looking at maturity is I guess something to do....
Well, for the record I forget I'm not actually 28 years old. I don't have the limit of knowledge and experience in life of an almost 21 year old.
I've lived a lot of life. But I guess you didn't know that.
What ever happen to not judging a book by it's cover?
Sure I look about 15 with out makeup, but I have a wise soul.
I think I felt 21 in the 10th grade. Not because of alcohol or anything, but because of what I had to grow up and deal with.
Life happens to people at different rates and lessons are learned(or not) by people at different rates too.
So maybe, you were too young to get married or worry about employment after graduation at almost 21, but you have no place telling me I am.
YOU DON"T KNOW ME FOOL! (had to throw in a little humor)
Think twice before you tell someone they can't do something for one reason or another. Because if they are anything like me, they will say "oh, yeah?" and try twice as hard to prove you wrong.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Sitting, Waiting, Wishing
For those of you who know me, you probably think I'm really patient. I say that because those of you who know me know about me and my boyfriend and the fact that I don't get to see him much.
You probably don't know that, my boyfriend and I only get on average 12 one-on-one dates a year...yes, a year.
Did I mention we've been together for over 3 and a half years....yes we are high school sweethearts.
Anyways, I'm not patient. I pretend I am, but I'm far from it.
I get road rage really easily, I start count downs for things over 100 days before they actually happen, and I still ask, "Are we there yet?" on every road trip.
The Bible says that love is patient...well Bible you may be God's word and all, but I'd have to disagree. (please don't smite me, please don't smite me, please don't smite me)
Love is NOT patient.
Love wants more than anything to have what it wants all the time, right then and there. I mean, love is what makes us want to be with someone ALL. THE. TIME. Because of this when we are gone from those we love we can't wait, literally, to be back with them. This is not patience!
Most people tell me they do not know how I do it, and honestly sometimes I don't either.
Waiting weighs heavy on a heart full of love. But if love is it's burden so be it, for it gives my soul pure joy and happiness. It is a a burden worth baring, for it is one so few get the joy of knowing.
You probably don't know that, my boyfriend and I only get on average 12 one-on-one dates a year...yes, a year.
Did I mention we've been together for over 3 and a half years....yes we are high school sweethearts.
Anyways, I'm not patient. I pretend I am, but I'm far from it.
I get road rage really easily, I start count downs for things over 100 days before they actually happen, and I still ask, "Are we there yet?" on every road trip.
The Bible says that love is patient...well Bible you may be God's word and all, but I'd have to disagree. (please don't smite me, please don't smite me, please don't smite me)
Love is NOT patient.
Love wants more than anything to have what it wants all the time, right then and there. I mean, love is what makes us want to be with someone ALL. THE. TIME. Because of this when we are gone from those we love we can't wait, literally, to be back with them. This is not patience!
Most people tell me they do not know how I do it, and honestly sometimes I don't either.
Waiting weighs heavy on a heart full of love. But if love is it's burden so be it, for it gives my soul pure joy and happiness. It is a a burden worth baring, for it is one so few get the joy of knowing.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
All the Small Things...A Thought for the Day
At work today I was sitting in the office of my boss and she was giving me a project. She printed something off for me and made a comment on how she is bad about printing things off and leaving them on the printer because it "is so hard to stand up and get them." Of course she said this jokingly, but then it hit me...
Why is it so hard to do the small things?
Why do we always plan for the large grand scheme off in the future type things?
Its always the small things that seam so insignificant.
We forget it's the small things that lead the big things to happen.
We forget that throwing a small pebble into an ocean, still causes a large ripple.
Planning for the future is wise, but making every moment count till then is what makes life worth living.
Why is it so hard to do the small things?
Why do we always plan for the large grand scheme off in the future type things?
Its always the small things that seam so insignificant.
We forget it's the small things that lead the big things to happen.
We forget that throwing a small pebble into an ocean, still causes a large ripple.
Planning for the future is wise, but making every moment count till then is what makes life worth living.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Age Aint Nothin' But A Number
BEFORE YOU READ THIS : please take the time to click "follow" and you can just sign in with your twitter name and password..yes its that simple. please please please. I'd just really appreciate the support.
So today at work we had this meeting all day long. It was a great learning experience for me...but that's not what I'm addressing today in this blog here today.
So anyways, back to being at the meeting....
Sometimes I forget how "not old" I am...meaning I am not young either, just not old. But I also forget I'm not as old as I feel. Which is about 28. I mean I've lived a lot of life. (For those of you who care I'll be 21 in 18 days)
But anyways...
Looking around the room, I am reminded that I am the youngest person at the state agency I work at. I mean the next youngest at this meeting is about 7 or 8 years older than me. Also, everybody at this meeting have kids.
So anyways as I'm eating my little oranges that were provided, I over hear two other employees talking about hot flashes and others talking about the joints and places on their bodies that hurt. And of course the line "Well, way back in the day..." is thrown out a few times. So then one of the ladies talking about her pains turns to me and says, "See what you have to look forward too? This is comin'."
I was taken back a little bit. I don't ever really think about how my body is going to deteriorate as I get older. To me, that's just part of it....I guess I just accepted it along time ago and moved on. But nonetheless that's why we have great modern medicine...and anti-aging cream.
Age is what our body does. But with age comes wisdom.
Wisdom is what I want.
I like the idea of being able to help others with their problems based upon my own wisdom.
Solomon was on to something.
Now, that being said...just because you are older doesn't mean you are necessarily wiser. I mean I know someone who is close to 70, and they are as far from wise as the moon. Wisdom does not come with the number on your birthday cake...it comes from having open hearts, open minds, and open doors to taking opportunities and risks (sound familiar fellow Methodist...haha).
Acknowledging first that we are not wise is the first step to becoming wise. If we step back and realize we don't know what to do in an situation, we can then better learn what to do through trial and error, both our own and of those around us on what to do the next time...
Listening is another way to gain wisdom...like, truly listening and understanding. If we are able to absorb what those that have gone through certain situations, we don't have to make their mistakes and/or we know what to do without making our own.
You also must know yourself before you can achieve wisdom. How can you better yourself, if you
don't even know who you are?
I personally am looking forward to getting older. I am excited to see what life has in store for me.
I don't care if I am going to feel a little sore now and again or get hot real quick all of a sudden, it's a price for something better that riches; wisdom. That's not to say I am not going to get my hair enhanced once it shows the dreadful grey hair....But getting older and wiser does come with more responsibilities...but there some great responsibilities I am so excited for. Things like marriage, children, owning a house and having steady employment are responsibilities and opportunities for wisdom that I look forward to taking on.
Have a wisdom filled day. :)
Now, off to change that world.
So today at work we had this meeting all day long. It was a great learning experience for me...but that's not what I'm addressing today in this blog here today.
So anyways, back to being at the meeting....
Sometimes I forget how "not old" I am...meaning I am not young either, just not old. But I also forget I'm not as old as I feel. Which is about 28. I mean I've lived a lot of life. (For those of you who care I'll be 21 in 18 days)
But anyways...
Looking around the room, I am reminded that I am the youngest person at the state agency I work at. I mean the next youngest at this meeting is about 7 or 8 years older than me. Also, everybody at this meeting have kids.
So anyways as I'm eating my little oranges that were provided, I over hear two other employees talking about hot flashes and others talking about the joints and places on their bodies that hurt. And of course the line "Well, way back in the day..." is thrown out a few times. So then one of the ladies talking about her pains turns to me and says, "See what you have to look forward too? This is comin'."
I was taken back a little bit. I don't ever really think about how my body is going to deteriorate as I get older. To me, that's just part of it....I guess I just accepted it along time ago and moved on. But nonetheless that's why we have great modern medicine...and anti-aging cream.
Age is what our body does. But with age comes wisdom.
Wisdom is what I want.
I like the idea of being able to help others with their problems based upon my own wisdom.
Solomon was on to something.
Now, that being said...just because you are older doesn't mean you are necessarily wiser. I mean I know someone who is close to 70, and they are as far from wise as the moon. Wisdom does not come with the number on your birthday cake...it comes from having open hearts, open minds, and open doors to taking opportunities and risks (sound familiar fellow Methodist...haha).
Acknowledging first that we are not wise is the first step to becoming wise. If we step back and realize we don't know what to do in an situation, we can then better learn what to do through trial and error, both our own and of those around us on what to do the next time...
Listening is another way to gain wisdom...like, truly listening and understanding. If we are able to absorb what those that have gone through certain situations, we don't have to make their mistakes and/or we know what to do without making our own.
You also must know yourself before you can achieve wisdom. How can you better yourself, if you
don't even know who you are?
I personally am looking forward to getting older. I am excited to see what life has in store for me.
I don't care if I am going to feel a little sore now and again or get hot real quick all of a sudden, it's a price for something better that riches; wisdom. That's not to say I am not going to get my hair enhanced once it shows the dreadful grey hair....But getting older and wiser does come with more responsibilities...but there some great responsibilities I am so excited for. Things like marriage, children, owning a house and having steady employment are responsibilities and opportunities for wisdom that I look forward to taking on.
Have a wisdom filled day. :)
Now, off to change that world.
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